playingalong

So they decided to give me a MASTER’S DEGREE

Passed the boards

When I’m hungover and it’s sunny out

In case any of you thought today was bad, relax. I had to see a 79 year old man’s balls for 20 minutes. And they were manscaped.

Sweet dreams.

stayy0ungandwild:

Cargo pants are only acceptable if they’re digital camo and you’re killing terrorists.

Last night I encountered a bar full of men who, at some point in development, were erroneously told, “No means no unless there’s music, in which case you don’t even have to ask.”

When a guy I’m not even hooking up with sends me a dick pic

whatshouldbetchescallme:

When someone asks me what I’m doing after graduation

whatshouldbetchescallme: