I'm a dazzling early-mid 20something with a preference for champagne, a master's degree, and a laundry list of single white girl post grad probs. I live by Oscar Wilde's words: "The only way to atone for being occasionally a little over-dressed is by being always absolutely over-educated."

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the sound of high heels on the pavement as you walk is the ultimate power trip, like you could be buying milk or on your way to assassinate someone

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"For class and sophistication, wear lace lingerie, coal black eyeliner and a posture to kill. Never slouch, and never go out looking worse than you would if your worst enemy was paying a visit"
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I would pay someone good money to watch hgtv for a full 24 hours just to tally the number of times they say “open concept.”

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Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point

Okay first of all fuck garlic bread

What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .

"Okay first of all fuck garlic bread." - al queda

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DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

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